Interview: Michael Doshier Talks "Third Wheeling" and "Throuple"
Three's not always a crowd...
Michael Doshier is a musician and filmmaker whose directorial debut, Throuple, made a splash when it premiered on VOD this past June.
A queer film festival favorite, Throuple is exactly what the title implies: A love story about a young man — Michael, played by and named after Doshier — and the married couple he “third wheels” with. Played by Stanton Plummer-Cambridge and Tommy Heleringer, that couple — Georgie and Connor, respectively — are of mixed nationality; as Doshier explains, Georgie is portrayed as British both because Doshier was thinking of a real-life acquaintance when he wrote the character, but also as a way of adding a little texture to the roles. In the film, marriage was Georgie and Connor’s way of securing Georgie’s American residency, but while their commitment is strong they are still young enough not to want to limit their options completely. (Note: His posh name notwithstanding, Plummer-Cambridge is American.)
Michael, too, is young — so much so that he has yet to experience a significant relationship, aside from the one he shares with his best friend, Tristan (Tristan Carter-Jones), a lesbian with whom he makes music and enjoys life. When Tristan gets serious about Abby (Jess Gabor), though, the less exciting meaning of “third wheel” starts to apply, and Jess’ resentment toward him grows.
Throuple is a coming-of-age film that’s unafraid of exploring youthful identity by way of complicated relationship configurations and the sexual and emotional complexities they entail. Perhaps aptly, the film also celebrates the New York arts scene.
“A huge part of my life is going to 3 Dollar Bill, which is where we shot the drag sequence,” Doshier says. “They have legendary parties in Brooklyn that I go to often.” The club scenes are packed with queer revelers of all sorts, along with indie bands — including Dosher’s band, Darlin! — and drag queens. Sexual and creative energy crackles on the screen during the club-set scenes; it’s the kind of place that would give a MAGA scold heart failure, especially when Connor, trying drag for the first time, discovers that it unlocks a core of personal power.
The threesome’s combination is just as volatile. When we first meet Michael, he endures an uninspired hookup, but as soon as he ventures home with Georgie and Connor his erotic life starts to blossom. As things progress, Connor begins to suspect that Georgie is falling in love with Michael… and Michael, unhappy that Georgie and Connor are also dating a hunk named Mac (Taylor Turner), begins to fear that everything he’s found with his new romantic partners is slipping away.
Michael Doshier spoke about how he drew on his own life — and that of best friend Tristan — when writing the movie, his history with throupledom and evolving relationship with polyamory, and the surprising place where he feels most at home.
(Photo provided. Credit: Anne-Marie Halovanic)
Kilian Melloy: Throuple celebrates the arts, especially music and drag.
Michael Doshier: That was my real band. This movie tracks my character’s coming out as a musician. That was a process I went through myself: Go from playing open mics and then being brave enough to finally go to an open mic with a song, and sign up and hope that you get called — or, honestly, in my case, with my anxiety, hope that I don't get called, because then it was the best of both worlds. I could pat myself on the back for going, but I didn't actually have to perform.
Kilian Melloy: You hear more about throuples these days. Do you have a feeling that it really is more commonplace, or are we just seeing people open up about it more?
Michael Doshier: I would think one leads to the other — it's becoming more commonplace because people are talking about it more. I know people who are in throuples now who would never have considered that two years ago.
Throuple is about basically going after what you want in life and finding the mental creativity to imagine outside the box after you try options that are within the box, like monogamy, that aren't working for you. I would hope the takeaway from the movie is that if it's what your heart is called to, then there's nothing wrong with that. That's beautiful.
Kilian Melloy: You talked in an interview about how here are two throuples in this movie — the emotional throuple of Michael with Tristan and Jess, and the sexual relationship Michael has with Georgie and Connor.
Michael Doshier: One is a little more fictionalized, which is the romantic throuple. I kind of wish that it was the other way around. It'd be more interesting if I had had a romantic throuple.
The script started when I realized that I had been third wheeling a lot in my life — like, my best friend, Tristan, [and I] had been best friends since we met the first day of college, and neither of us had ever had a boyfriend — or a girlfriend, in her case — and we were each other's primary partner in a lot of ways. Then she got her first partner around our mid-20s and our dynamic totally changed, and there were boundary issues and all this stuff. I mean, the movie has to dramatize it a little bit to make it compelling, but that's real life.
The romantic throuple came from this pattern I was noticing, while all this was going on, where I tended to gravitate toward guys that were married, or were in couples and looking for their third, or they were just looking for a side date. So, I was like, “What's going on here? I don't think I'm seeking this out, but it keeps happening over and over again.” And then I was like, “With these two things going on at once, there's enough juice here to write a film.”
Kilian Melloy: Did you find that making this movie was a therapeutic way of dealing with things from your youth? And if it was therapeutic for you, could it have been for Tristan, too?
Michael Doshier: Thank you, because that's so thoughtful and really top of mind now. I started writing Throuple when I was 26; we shot it when I was 29 or 30; and I'm 33 now, so at each level, there was more remove. I love this film for the vulnerability that's displayed on the screen, because me and Tristan are playing ourselves, in a way. Overall, I feel so happy that I have this time capsule of what life looked like in a very messy time. Just because I'm in a different place now doesn't mean those emotions weren't valid.
Kilian Melloy: When couples take a third, does that tend to be a short-term thing, in your experience, or could it be something that goes on a bit longer?
Michael Doshier: I would say it can be something that goes on for as long as any monogamous couple does. I've met a lot of throuples who have come see the film. I've met married throuples. I've met throuples that have been together for 10 years. I feel tuned in to how legitimate that structure can be for many people. I have this new belief that it's not just some interesting idea to posit in a film, it's actually as legit as a couple.
Kilian Melloy: That said, now that you’re older and have had different experiences, is throupledom something that you would go back to, or would you want to stick with just one person?
Michael Doshier: Right now, I'm single and I'm dating, and I'm looking to be a primary partner for someone. There have been eras of my life where I've been more open to being a third, or dating a married guy, and I think all that's beautiful and great for self-exploration, and it's awesome — but I'm looking to be emotionally entwined with someone. That does not rule out poly structures, but I would need to feel secure in my role. That lends itself to saying on the apps that I'm looking for one person, because that's the clearest way to make that happen, but I'm just really looking for emotional intimacy.
Kilian Melloy: Are going to carry on with another feature, or focus on music, or do some completely different thing next?
Michael Doshier: Definitely more features. I have several ready to go, and I'm hoping to use Throuple to show that we can do this. I have several scripts that I would love to get into production. They're all set in the South, because I'm from Arkansas. I feel like I've made my big city movie, and I want to make a movie that is set in my home. Queer culture in the South is so unique, and interesting, and underrepresented in film.
My next script is actually about a Waffle House waitress in her 70s finding love for the first time. I'm kind of trying to write it like a Southern queer epic.
Kilian Melloy: > Awesome! I love Waffle House.
Michael Doshier: That's my happy place. That's where I'm my truest self.
This interview was conducted on May 5, 2025. It has been edited for length and clarity. For more about Michael Doshier, check out his website.
Throuple is available at major streaming platforms.